Walking The Lonely Road 2

Arms and body shaking so bad that I can barely walk in a straight line. Oh God, the cold is getting to my body. I do not know when the cold and the wind will blow over my body. Then finally, my strength will be gone and gravity will pull me to the ground.

• What got me into this mess?
  
• Why am I out here all alone?
  
• Why do I have to bare the bitter January cold of the high desert?

The answer is simple, two sins; selfishness, and lust. The two things that I have let rule my fifty plus years.

Instead of bitting the bullet and finishing college, I quite. Not just once, but many times. Each time was to fulfill selfish gratification. Now I walk this lonely road with the satisfaction of having a college degree.

Just when I was starting to mend the relationship with my two oldest children, I made things worst. Now they won't talk to me. Whenever I can not think about them for long because the cold pain of evil, sinful self hurts to much.

The list goes on and on. I need intervention. I have had intervention in the past.

Teen Challenge. After a year in the program, I went to school and stayed there for another three years. Then I thought I was getting into a good relationship, but it turned lustful and it went downhill from there. I didn't have the intestinal fortitude to get out of it before it was to late.

Another step, I can't move. My body is shaking so bad. Just lifting my right leg up and putting my foot down in front of the left one is taking so my effort. I can't stop shaking!